It seems simple, doesn’t it? Being kind to yourself and others. But why do we find this practice so challenging at times? Maybe it’s a disagreement with a colleague, or a waiter who gets the order wrong. These are small things, everyday things that happen, yet why do we find it so hard to keep our cool and let it get the better of us? It’s exactly these simple interactions that really test the boundaries and strength of one’s kindness. The late spiritual teacher Ram Dass appropriately said “if you think you’re enlightened go spend a week with your family”. 

The science behind kindness supports devoting resources to others rather than just yourself, and that being kind will bring lasting wellbeing. Dr David Hamilton has studied the effects kindness has on a person’s mental health and has concluded that kindness positively changes the brain, impacts the heart and the immune system.

Kindness is defined as the quality of being friendly, generous and considerate and it’s something I try to embody in my everyday life with everyone I come into contact with. The metaphysical text A Course in Miracles says “When you meet anyone, remember it is a holy encounter. As you see him you will see yourself. As you treat him you will treat yourself. As you think of him you will think of yourself.”

The other day I was shopping with my children, and as we left the supermarket I noticed a young girl begging. I gave both my kids some money and said go up to the girl, give her the money and wish her a merry Christmas. As they handed the money to the young girl, I saw her look around to see who these kids were with, we caught eyes and she beamed the most beautiful smile to me, in that moment I felt her kindness and she felt mine, such a simple act not only touched her, but filled my heart with love. Every time I think about this encounter I’m brought to tears, she was so touched by this simple act and all the while I had no idea how much of an impact it would have on me. 

By choosing to give kindness you can impact your life as well as others. Think about your colleague and how that altercation may have changed the way they felt that day, or the embarrassment your waiter already felt from getting your order wrong in addition to your reaction towards them. By simply pausing before we react we allow ourselves to opt for kindness in a specific moment rather than being quick to anger or feelings of irrationality. That simple choice allows us to radiate positivity into the world, and perhaps even receive it back. 

Have you recently encountered or engaged in an act of kindness? I would love to hear about your experience.